


Puberty (Fucks Me Over) Again

by BadRomanticFeelings



Category: The Umbrella Academy (Comics), The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Both give consent, But still has the mental age of an older man, Consent, First Time, Five is a virgin, Five is desperate, Five is in the boy of a thirteen-year-old like in the show, Gay, Hadjob in the first chapter, I'm Serious, Klaus Hargreeves Has Issues, Klaus teaches Five about sex, Lots of handjobs, M/M, Number Five | The Boy Has Issues, Number Five | The Boy Is A Hormonal Mess, Oral Sex, Puberty, Sex, Sex Education, Sex in the second, Sober Klaus, They are both screwed in the head, Virginity issues, and hates it, bad tags, don't read if you don't like underage, surprise blow job
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-04
Updated: 2019-03-04
Packaged: 2019-11-09 05:50:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17996126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BadRomanticFeelings/pseuds/BadRomanticFeelings
Summary: Five hated his prepubescent body and its stupid hormonal advantages over him.Most nights nowadays were spent with a hand in his pants thinking of someone else touching him. He imagined their hands running over his chests, lips pressed to whatever skin they could get a hold of. He wondered how teeth would feel grazing against his collarbones. Fantasies turned midnight moments with his hand into someone else palming him through the fabric, whispering anything and everything in his ears, promising to do things with him that he hadn’t ever got to experience before. Five imagined the scent of sex and the heat of the moment, blending together into his own euphoria.He needed someone so screwed in the head that they would help take his virginity away, but also knew and understood his mental-to-body situation. Klaus was screwed in the head.





	Puberty (Fucks Me Over) Again

**Author's Note:**

> Cool, you hate me for this story. Go ahead, I won’t care. While the account is new, I personally am not new to the fanfiction community. This is basically a side-account to post all my mature-content (which I will never reveal to anyone I know because I don’t need to be harassed about what I write). Still, this story is a bit much for me, but I kept thinking about it so I couldn’t help but write it.
> 
> What are you going to do? Sue me? Maybe… I’ll probably like it – I’m kinky like that. Just kidding, sort of. Man, I’m all over the place today.
> 
> So, last warning anyone is going to get from me, but this story is Klaus X Five from the (third person) point-of-view of Five. If you don’t want to read about any underage anything then don’t go any further. I don’t want to see you bitching in my comments section about it because I warned you. One more thing, but Five doesn’t consider any of the others his siblings – especially because he’s a horny boy - and, while he has an underage body, he has an older mind (due to being in the future).

Five hated his prepubescent body and its _stupid_ hormonal advantages over him.

 

Most nights nowadays were spent with a hand in his pants thinking of someone else touching him. He imagined their hands running over his chests, lips pressed to whatever skin they could get a hold of. He wondered how teeth would feel grazing against his collarbones. Fantasies turned midnight moments with his hand into someone else palming him through the fabric, whispering anything and everything in his ears, promising to do things with him that he hadn’t ever got to experience before. Five imagined the scent of sex and the heat of the moment, blending together into his own euphoria.

 

Klaus was right, his words still haunting the time-traveler up until now. _"Hey, you know, I've just now realized why you're so uptight."_ He'd said this with a grin, _"You must be horny as hell! All those years by yourself. It must have screwed with your head, being alone I mean."_ The man had laughed at him then, but he couldn't have known just how right he was.

         

Because, although Five had Dolores to keep him company, he never got the chance to be touched like _that_ by another person. It’s sad really, how he’s basically been a virgin for fifty-some-odd-years. It was starting to really screw with his head, being stuck in a body like this that was crazy horny most days.

 

Five knew that he couldn't continue like this for long and, even though the apocalypse had been avoided, that didn't mean that he was allowed to return to a body that fit his mental-age. It meant that he was still thirteen, still in a body that was going through puberty with heightened sexual hormones. He needed to fix this, get rid of the barrier that is his virginity, but having sex with an underage kid was illegal practically everywhere you go or any timeline he was thrown into. Even _if_ he was fifty-eight mentally, it didn’t change anything. Pedophiles would love the hell out of him – that’s for sure – but he'd like to avoid that, _thank-you-very-much_.

 

He needed someone so _screwed_ in the head that they would help take his virginity away, but also knew and understood his mental-to-body situation… which basically narrowed his selection down to any one of his " _siblings_ ”. They weren't _technically_ his siblings at all, right? The only thing they actually share is a last name so, it would be okay… sort of.

 

Five huffed in annoyance, having mulled over his situation and solution to said situation for most of the day. It was starting to get late and everyone had pretty much vacated the kitchen and living room area. He thought about going to his room and relieving the tension swelling up in his chest, but he was too frustrated to even get up from the table. Five’s head was rested uncomfortably against his folded arms, legs just barely swinging underneath his seat. This body was too young for him, too immature, too _prepubescent_. If he'd gone back in time to a twenty-something-year-old body, he might not have been so pissed about his situation.

 

But this? Being _thirteen_ again? Going through puberty again? It was practically _torture_.

 

There was a sudden hum coming down the stairs. Fire lifted his head from his arms to stare at the newcomer, making eye contact with Klaus for only a moment. The man slid the headphones he’d had over his ears off slightly just so he could hear the boy. As the newly sobered man made his way into the kitchen, he waved, "Hey, Five. Little late for you to be up, isn't it?" Klaus snickered to himself, bending over to dig through the fridge. His hand was firmly attached to a towel Five hadn’t noticed was there until now. The white, damp thing hung haphazardly around the man’s hips – it looked like it might slip off at any moment if it didn’t have the assistance of Klaus’ hand.

 

Five couldn't help but _stare_ , looking the man's body up and down slowly while Klaus was distracted by the fridge. His body had a warm sheen of liquid fire, moist from the man's bath. His back was almost perfectly arched forward, exposing parts of the man’s spine for all to see. The wet hair of his head fell all over the place, curling up a bit as it air-dried. A single water droplet trailed the length of Klaus' shoulder blades, slipping down into the towel at his hips which lapped at it happily. Five couldn't tear his eyes away from the display, chest filled with a certain amount of _horrible_ realization and unadulterated _appreciation_ towards any God out there who'd done this for him. Still…

 

"Shut it." Five hissed at the other man, averting his eyes to his hands just as Klaus was starting to straighten his back. This can't be happening to him. Too bad, it's _happening_ and he _hates_ it. He hates it because there’s a certain tightening in his stupid pants, blood going straight to his dick. _Fuck_. Fuck this stupid thirteen-year-old body with its stupid hormonal mixes that finds anything attractive. Fuck his stupid fifty-eight-year-old mind that’s never been laid before. _Fuck the lights out of him until he’s seeing stars._ No, _no_ , _don't_ do that. "Fuck." He grumbled out, already moving to stand.

 

If he was in this room any longer-

 

"What's got your panties in a twist?" Klaus huffed out, stuffing his face with ice cream – he must not have found anything appetizing in the fridge. The ice cream was vanilla bean which just so happened to be the same color as _another_ cream, like his-

 

"I've got to go." Five rushed out. He didn't stay for any answer Klaus might have procured right then, quickly teleporting to his room without so much as a warning. He shut the door and locked it, closing the blinds once he was done – no one could know. _"What the actual fuck is wrong with me?"_ He found himself thinking, tugging off his clothes like it was strangling him. He fumbled with his bottoms, body on fire and _fuck_ , he couldn’t get his stupid pants off!

 

Everything felt _way_ too tight on him, suffocating him because all he wanted was _out_.

 

After shamelessly struggling to disrobe completely, the boy climbed into his bed without haste, gritting his teeth in anguish. He was almost a bit embarrassed about getting a stupid hard-on because he saw a _guy_ in a _towel_ – how much could his dignity handle?

 

Five shook the thoughts away, quickly smoothing a hand down his chest. He hissed out a moan, fingertips sending sparks of fire everywhere it touched – it felt too good to be real. He knew no concept of waiting for a pleasurable high, two small hands twisting and pumping at his small length all the while mentally cursing his _stupid_ body. He hated how it responded almost _too_ well to the small touches against his skin. He hated how it was constantly horny, always begging for someone else to touch him – it often affected his _poor_ olden mind.

 

A strangled moan threw him out of his head. He grits his teeth again, trying desperately to keep some semblance of silence – he wasn’t exactly the only person in this house. However, this childish body that he inhabits, although soft and plump with an _amazing_ bout of stamina and stimulus to keep him up for hours, Five knew that it would ruin him one day. He was _so close_ -

 

There was a knock at his bedroom door. "Five?" _Shit_ , it was Klaus.

 

Despite himself and how close he was to finishing, the boy froze, his length twitching in excitement in his hands. Five took deep breaths, "Go _away_ , K-Klaus." There was a small bout of pride swelling up in him at keeping his voice somewhat level.

 

"Sure, _whatever_ , I was just making sure I hadn't made you like, uncomfortable or anything with the, _you_ _know_ , towel and all." The man on the other side of the door grumbled out. _Fuck_ , why did he have to bring up the towel again? “Well, guess I’ll leave you alone for now,” Klaus stated before walking away. Five listened to the footsteps moving down the hall before he started again.

 

But, damn it all to _hell_ – all Five could think about now was Klaus in a fucking _towel_! 

 

It wasn’t even a minute after the interaction that Five came quickly, practically ripping a hole into the pillow he hadn't even realized he'd been biting. The last fantasy he held onto before the white of his orgasm filled his brain was Klaus about to remove the towel, as if it were a strip show or something like that. For a while after masturbating, he simply laid there just catching his breath, stewing in his cum and sweat – _disgusting_ , he was absolutely _disgusting_.

 

He listened to Klaus singing downstairs. His voice wasn't all that great or loud – it barely even echoed through the house – but that’s beside the point; Five could still hear him as plain as day. The man’s voice was annoying in all aspects but it was still somewhat pleasing to his ears, especially after coming down from a sex high. The boy chuckled at the word – _high_ , that is, not sex; he was too old to laugh immaturely at a word as simple as _sex_.

 

Klaus was pretty keen on staying sober after their near end-of-the-world fiasco. He'd been doing well, Five mused to himself, but he could see through the fog in the man's eyes that pleaded for anything to keep him numb again. It was a plead for something that Five couldn't figure out. He's neurotic and bipolar, a crazy motherfucker, Five mused to himself.

 

Klaus was screwed in the head.

 

Screwed in the head…

 

"Oh, you've got to be _fucking_ kidding me!" Five growled out, a new sense of angry trepidation running through him again. Underneath the sweaty bedsheets, the boy could feel himself hardening again as if it were expecting something Five couldn’t give it. By this point, he wasn’t even going to bother with it this time. His mind – a glorious thing that was stubborn all to hell – was absolutely made up. As horrible as his stomach turned at the thought, he knew that the only one who would probably ever even consider helping him take the damn thing that was virginity away and already knew that he was an old man mentally was _Klaus_.

 

Because Klaus was screwed in the head and Five need someone to screw him until _he_ was screwed in the head.

 

Despite such horrid revelations, Five couldn't exactly get Klaus alone long enough to ask the man anything relating to what has been going on with him _down there_. He tried to catch the other male in the morning, but Klaus' mornings were always spent either in the bathtub or in the kitchen where everyone else found themselves. Being around everyone asking such questions made Five’s stomach queasy – as it should, really, he’s thinking about asking (i.e., _begging_ ) Klaus to fuck him. He really should be more ashamed that he is – maybe it’s the age, maybe it’s because he’s constantly horny, or it might possibly be because of his virgin mind.

 

Five tried again, but the ever-estranged man was elusive midday every day. Klaus almost always spent this time lounging around in the bar area with at least two other people, chatting about who knows what. If he wasn’t there, that meant that the brown-haired man was milling around somewhere else in the house at random intervals – you couldn’t exactly pin him down to one spot at an exact time which made it quite annoying for Five. Plus, with the odd placements, he knew it wouldn’t be a good idea to ask Klaus when there might be someone just around the corner, listening in on their conversation.

 

Five didn’t need to hear about how disgusting he was – he already knew this, yet, he’s still going to go for it.

 

As for dinnertime, there still wasn’t any good time for Five to get to the other man. Their meals were spent together, all huddled around a table talking loudly – a big _fuck you_ to Reginald Hargreaves who used to force them to be silent whilst eating. While Five might have indulged in these dinners before, he was simply too horny nowadays to really be anything but a ball of sexual frustration. He still couldn’t find the time to talk to Klaus as the man was either crowded around everyone at the table or he would find himself out in town at all odd hours of the night. Five often tried to catch him after dinner or just before Klaus went to bed, but nothing was _working_.

 

And so, as days passed, Five was finding that it was _still_ just him and his hand again for the oncoming nights. Well, sort of.

 

There's a knock on his door. The sound echoes loudly in the quiet room, Five shooting up out of his bed as if startled by the noise. "Hey, Five?” Klaus’ voice was only a bit muffled by the door in between them, “You in there?"

 

Five took a moment to calm his quickened breath and thundering heartbeat. He looked up at the door as if he would meet the other’s eyes. "Yeah?" He called out, voice almost sounding strained.

 

"Mind if I come in?" The man asked, “I’ve got something to tell you.”

 

Five looked down at himself. His nude body had a thin sheen of sweat layering on top of it, the prepubescent body covered only by a hand slicked with his spit and cum. He swiped the appendage against his sheets without another thought before moving to get up in order to put on some pajamas. "Yeah, just give me a second." He mumbled out.

 

If Klaus heard it or not, he couldn't care.

 

Five, rather than rummaging around his closet for some pajamas, just pulled on the pair he’d thrown off the night before with his routine masturbating session. He didn’t want Klaus to know that he hadn’t had any clothes on – hence why he wasn’t making noise by going through his closet. After about a minute of struggling to pull on the pajamas over his sweaty body, Five opened the door. He stepped to the side, allowing the older man – in body, not mind – to come in. He shut his bedroom door behind him, locking it quietly before moving to sit on his bed.

 

Klaus moved to the center of the room, turning towards the boy. He had his hand raised in question before his face promptly screwed up a bit, looking around the room with his nostrils flaring. It wasn’t even a second later that the man looked back at Five, face breaking out in a grin as a chuckle escaped past his mouth. "No _way_." He barked out a short laugh, hand pressed against his chest dramatically.

 

Five furrowed his eyebrows, shifting a bit on his bed – he was still hard. "What are you going on about now?" He asked, unsure of where this conversation was going.

 

"How long have you been masturbating in here?" Klaus chuckled again, looking directly into the boy's eyes.

 

His face flushed red, "I- _Shut_ _up_ , I have _not_ been m-masturbating."

 

"Dude, you’ve got it stinking in here like a brothel or something." Klaus put a hand to his forehead, a shocked grin on his face as he lowered his voice a bit, "When I knocked on the door, were you in the middle of masturbating?"

 

Five balled up his hands, "If all you're going to do is berate me, then you can _leave_." Did he really want him to leave? This was his chance – maybe his only one – to tell Klaus about what was going on and what he wanted the man to do to him.

 

"Holy shit." Klaus huffed out another chuckle before moving to sit on the bed as well, making it jump a little from his weight, "I was totally right about you being a hormonal mess. Being thirteen again must _suck_."

 

He crossed his arms and slumped forward, "You have no idea. It also doesn't help that I'm…" Should he just flat out say it?

 

"You're… _what_?" Klaus questioned, leaning in close – his voice was too close. Five could feel his face heating up, choking on his words a bit. This is what he’s been wanting for so long, he should just spit it out. He should just get over this stupid barrier and be done with it. “Five, what is it?” The man asked again, voice just above a whisper.

 

"I'm still a virgin, _okay_?!" The boy rushed out, face way too hot and a weird feeling settling over his chest.

 

Klaus nodded slowly, absorbing the information quietly. He leaned against the wall, rubbing the back of his head with a sheepish look on his face, "Well, I guess you're screwed for at least another… three, five years."

 

Five debated on whether he should bring up his predicament right now or just leave what was left of his dignity alone. His stomach was twisted up in knots, heat still boiling underneath his skin. "Klaus…" He should just do it, get it over with. What he wanted was just at arm’s length – he could finally get to do _it_.

 

"Hm?"

 

"You're gay right?" He asked quietly, eyes not meeting the man’s blue ones.

 

"I don't like where this question is heading to,” Klaus mumbled out, sending the boy a side-look.

 

“Klaus. Are you gay?” Five asked again.

 

The man sighed heavily, “Something like that, yeah, sure.”

 

He took a deep breath, taking a moment to collect himself. "Do you think you can…" Five huffed quietly, fingers clutching onto the sheets like they were his only lifeline at that very moment, "Can you be the one who takes my virginity away?"

 

A silence overtook the two of them. It was an uneasy and tension-filled silence, one that Five didn’t like. His chest was constricting up in knots and he felt like he could throw up. He kept shooting the man looks, seeing Klaus just sitting there staring blankly at the opposite wall. Five couldn’t take it, moving so that he could sit in front of the man. “Say something.” He whispered out, voice borderline pleading.

 

Klaus choked, eyes just barely meeting the boy’s, "I… I, um, don't exactly know how to respond to that."

 

“Klaus, _please_!” Five placed a hand on the man's thigh, as if he might get up and leave, "You're one of the only people here who live by a no-strings-attached code and you're also the only one who'd tap anything with a dick between their legs."

 

Klaus looked struck by the statement, holding up a hand, “First of all, that’s pretty offensive and second, Five, your body's _thirteen_ -"

 

"You and Ben used to experiment with each other when we were young, what's the difference now?!" He exclaimed a bit too loud, but he was starting to feel a bit desperate at this point, "I can't live with this _stupid_ hormonal body - it's screwing with my head. I'll even pay you or something for it even, just _please_!"

 

"Five…"

 

"Klaus, I'm _begging_ you."

 

Klaus actually looked upset by the question, eyes flashing around a bit. His mouth moved, opening and closing like a fish gasping for air. Five was practically on edge, hand still placed firmly on the man’s thigh. There was a long sigh, the man’s hand running down his face slowly. He groaned aloud before turning to the boy, " _Fine_."

 

Five didn't even get to say anything in response to that because Klaus was already starting to push him down onto the bed. "W-Wait, we're doing it right _now_?" He asked out, voice hushed and awed, watching the man’s movements like a hawk.

 

" _No_ , of course, not." Klaus murmured out, hands busying themselves with running their hands up and down the boy’s sides, "I have to go get some stuff before we do anything and plus, we should probably get a motel so none of the others find out about this."

 

"Right." Five breathed out, twisting underneath the man's intense stare and hands, "So… what are you doing now?"

 

"I’m giving you a taste of what you'll get, you know, just in case you want to back out." He flashed the boy a grin, pulling at the collar of Five’s pajama shirt before leaning in close and pressing a kiss to the boy's exposed collarbone.

 

“ _Shit_.” Five's hands found themselves in the man's hair, hissing out quietly. His skin felt like it was on fire everywhere Klaus kissed and nipped at – this had never happened to him before. The man’s hands kept moving all around his chest, the skin becoming extra sensitive to the lips pressing against him. This is so much different than anything he’d ever done to himself.

 

"Wow, Five, I've barely done anything and yet," Klaus murmured out, a wide grin falling perfectly on his lips, "here you are, hard as a _rock_."

 

"S-Shut it." Five hissed out through gritted teeth, eyes shutting in bliss, "Just, d-do something already." Why did this feel so _good_?

 

"That takes the fun out of it." Klaus chuckled quietly, hands moving to unbutton the boy's pajama shirt, "Now remember, Five, if anything feels like it's too much for you, just tell me. I'll stop whenever you tell me." There was a singular nod before Klaus pressed a slick tongue up against an exposed nipple, taking it into his mouth with ease as a hand found the other one, teasing and pinching it.

 

Five bucked up into him, a strangled moan caught in his throat, "K-Klaus, _Klaus,_ please, you've got to t-touch me." His hands tugged at the hair that was still gripped in his small palms.

 

" _What_? You mean like _this_?" The hand that wasn't busy with the boy's nipple traveled down the boy's chest slowly, dancing at the hem of his pants. He sucked hard against the nipple, letting it fall out of his mouth with an audible _pop_!

 

" _Klaus_ ~"

 

Klaus leaned up, close voice quiet as he whispered in Five’s ears, "You better be quiet or else I'll get up and leave you like this."

 

“Y-Yeah.” Five breathed out, eyes wild and unfocused. He watched with a blissed-out expression as the man above him moved to make hickeys all around the boy’s chest, sucking and nipping at the soft, sensitive skin.

 

Klaus made sure to make eye contact with the boy as he slowly slipped his hand into Five’s pajama pants and found, to his surprise, that the boy wasn't wearing any underwear. He snickered, leaning in close again, "You really _were_ masturbating before I got. Can't believe you made me wait outside so you could slip into something more comfortable – or should we say _less_ comfortable. I mean, with the way you’re squirming like that, it seems like you’re just _itching_ for me to touch you."

 

Five looked like a mess, eyes wild with an emotion he'd never seen on the boy's face before. He breathed quickly, hands clutched desperately in the sheets underneath him with desperation, something so unlike him. Klaus found it endearing. " _Please_ … just, touch me." He whispered out, a tinge of exhaustion in his voice, on the verge of choking on another moan.

 

Klaus had the runaway thought which made him wonder how long he'd been masturbating before he started this. "Okay." He moved to grab Five's length, feeling the small thing barely go past his fist. The boy jumped, a squeal in his throat. That obviously hadn't ever happened before if the boy's wide eyes and reddening face was anything to go by. Klaus grinned at the sound, applying a bit of pressure to the leaking length. Five groaned, hipping bucking into the man’s hands.

 

Klaus pumped the boy slowly, moving at a pace that would keep Five at his mercy, forcing him to edge for however long the man chose to let him moan and groan like that. He watched the boy’s face for any changing, finding it a bit amusing to watch someone so uptight completely _lose_ themselves to a feeling.

 

Five called his name more than a few times, teeth gritting against one another in a mix of painful pleasure something that he hadn’t ever got to experience until now. “K-Klaus~” He moaned out, voice choking up, “Klaus, _please_ ~”

 

“What do you want, Five?” The man whispered out, already shifting in order to get a better angle. The boy hissed quietly, his head thrown back. For a moment, Klaus wasn’t even sure he’d heard him or even had the energy to respond, too lost in the feeling to do anything. “What do you want me to do?” Klaus tried again.

 

“ _Faster~”_ The request was loud and firm, Five’s eyes meeting the man’s dead-on.

 

Klaus grinned, pulling the boy’s legs back so that Five’s butt was pressed up close to his crotch area with each leg on either side of the man’s body. He leaned forward, twisting his hand in an angle that would allow him to go as fast as he wanted. The man only paused to give Five a wink before pumping the boy’s length as fast as he could.

 

Five _came hard_ , moaning out loud as he spasmed on the sweaty sheets. His voice was gone with choked moans and groans, bucking weakly into Klaus' hand before finally coming to a halt. An arm came to cover his eyes as he regained his breathing. Klaus removed his hand, swiping it on the bed sheets, "You're going to need to clean up in here, maybe even light a candle – it really smells like sex in here."

 

Five made no movements, instead mumbling out something, but he was still too lost in the feeling that his words held no tangibility.

 

Without a word, Klaus removed himself from underneath the boy. Getting up to grab Five’s sweaty and cum-stained sheets, laying them all in the corner with strict instructions for them to be washed in the morning. He flipped over the pillows and found a throw-on blanket hidden away in the boy’s closet. He moved Five slowly so that his head was up against the pillows before laying the blanket over him.

 

Five's tired blue eyes opened, fixing themselves upon the man as he cuddled up against the pillow tiredly. "Thanks." He murmured out, eyes sliding shut.

 

Klaus rubbed the back of his head, "Yeah, whatever. Find me later if you really want to do that." He made sure no one was in the hallway before making his escape to his room.

 

He did, after all, have his own problem to fix.


End file.
